Parents and Godparents
By Mike Lambrecht
So often in our society, when we think about preparing for baptism, we think of the wonderful ceremony that will take place in church or of the party that we will have with family and friendsafterwards. We begin to brainstorm for the names of individuals that we would like to ask to be the godparents. When we get caught up in the excitement that having a new child brings, it is easy to forget about the great responsibility that has been entrusted to us by almighty God.
On your part, you must make it your constant care
to bring him up in the practice of the faith.
See that the divine life which God gives him
is kept safe from the poison of sin,
to grow always stronger in his heart.
These words are taken from the Rite of Baptism. They serve as a reminder to us that there is more to being a parent or godparent than simply being present for the Baptism. When parents choose to have their child baptized, and when an individual accepts the honor of becoming a godparent, they are making a lifelong commitment to aid and guide the child on his or her earthly journey.
It is important to remember that the parents are not alone in this endeavor. Father Janusz, the parish staff, and all those in the parish community (by virtue of their own baptisms) are obliged to assist the parents. However, the Church recognizes that the parents will spend far more time with their child than any other individual. In fact, the Church tells us that, “Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children.”1 In order to properly educate their children, parents must seize the opportunities presented to them in daily life to nurture their children, to correct them, and to set an example by which their children can imitate them and achieve a virtuous life.
Additionally, we know that, “Family catechesis precedes, accompanies, and enriches other forms of instruction in the faith. Parents have the mission of teaching their children to pray and to discover their vocation as children of God.”2 This is not an easy task. It involves a lot of effort and diligence on the part of parents to incorporate religion into the daily life of their child. It is for this reason that the parents choose godparents to assist them in their efforts.
The Catechism puts it another way: “For the grace of Baptism to unfold, the parents’ help is important. So too is the role of the godfather and godmother, who must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized.”3 The role of the godparent is to “help the baptized person to lead a Christian life in keeping with baptism and to fulfill faithfully the obligations inherent therein.”4 Strictly speaking, there are five requirements that must be met in order for an individual to act as a godparent in the Church. The individual must:5
1. Be designated by the one to be baptized or by the parents of the one being baptized (in the case of infants).
2. Be at least 16 years of age (unless the bishop gives a special permission otherwise).
3. Be an active practicing Catholic who has
received the sacraments of First Eucharist and Confirmation.
4. Not be bound by any canonical penalty (ie. not be excommunicated or censured, etc.).
5. Not be the parents of the individual being baptized.
Therefore, the task of choosing a godparent should not simply be an issue of, “which family members do we like the best?” Nor should it be an issue of, “Who haven’t we asked yet?” The proper questions to be asking when choosing a godparent are: “Who do I know that is an upstanding example of holiness? Who spends time in prayer? Who attends Mass regularly? Who will make a lifelong commitment to aid my son or daughter on their journey of faith?” If we ask the latter questions, we will have a much better chance of handing on the faith to them—a gift that could and should last them the rest of their lives, and a gift that they can rely on in good times and in bad.
Having said all of this, it is important to point out that it is never too late to start anew. If you are the parents of a child and have been lax in your duties, I would encourage you to spend time with them in prayer before meals and before bed. Read the Bible to your child, take them to Mass on Sundays, and, most importantly, live your life in such a way as to be an example of holiness for your child. If you are a child’s godparent, I would invite you to talk to your godchild about the faith. Encourage them to say their prayers. Give them small religious gifts on the anniversary of their baptism to remind them that they are indeed a child of God. And remember, “Follow the Saints, because those who follow them will become Saints.”6
1 Catechism of the Catholic Church Paragraph 2223.
2 CCC Paragraph 2226.
3 CCC Paragraph 1255.
4 Code of Canon Law #872.
5 Code of Canon Law #874.
6 Pope Clement I