These Golden Years
By Marcy Stenstrom
Grandpa hated getting old. He didn’t just hate the process but rather the age itself because although his mind was sharp, his body was failing him. He always said that there’s nothing golden about these golden years. He passed away two years ago on April 12th. Despite his failing body and his yearning to be spry, he passed away with dignity. He pushed himself and injured himself but he never altered himself to be or appear younger. Since Grandpa’s death, Grandma has become a different person to me. It happened slowly. She became demanding and insecure about her place in the world without Grandpa. She complains that she has no time for reading and organizing her things because she has so many phone calls and visitors. But I know that if the calls and visits stopped so would she.
This behavior is certainly a phenomenon to me. The only thing in which I can empathize is the loss of a spouse. I know that I would be lost without my husband, my soul mate. But as I learned at our church’s Young Families Ministry sessions regarding Christopher West’s talks about Pope John Paul’s “Theology of the Body”, this union on Earth is small in comparison to the ultimate union we will have with God. West said in his talks entitled “Created and Redeemed”, that our bodies were created under God’s wonderful intention and we’d better love the skin we’re in now because we have it for all eternity.
Perhaps people young and old forget that we are purely of God’s design and like I tell my CCD classes, God don’t make garbage. At whatever stage of life we need to embrace the body God gave us and use it according to His plan, not ours. The body and soul are connected, so in abusing ourselves or engaging in short term pleasures we will damage our spirit and psyche for the long term. I have yet to meet someone who said they were happy without religion, without God, and refusing His commandments. If we put our faith in our Father, He will fill us and we will have no other yearning (things or people) but for Him.
As for Grandma, I love her dearly and will continue to be an ear for her when she needs one. I will continue to spend long visits with her and entertain her ideas of a wig and hem her polyester dresses. I always bring along her great-granddaughters so that they will have a memory of her and history of where they came from. My two little girls always bring so much joy to her and she loves to show them off to all her gal pals at the living center. I think that Grandma is simply lost without Grandpa and anything I can sacrifice to bring her a little comfort and joy may help her get through one more day of these golden years.