Submissive Wives
By Eric Stenstrom
“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. As the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:22-24). For those keeping score, that’s husbands one and wives zero. Commit that one to memory husbands, so that the next time your wife wants you to do something during the Packer game, just recite it and your wife will bow to your every whim. After I learned more about “Theology of the Body” by Pope John Paul II it seems that this passage in the Bible doesn’t put women “in their place” as most of us first believe. It turns out that you need to read the whole chapter and put it into context. Who knew?
The reality of Ephesians 5 does not grant the husband some supreme and unquestionable power over his wife but that the husband and wife are a team responsible for one another. In reference to the first verse, “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21), St. Paul takes this even further, much further, and says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). So if wives are to be subject to us we must do one simple thing for them; die. In Christopher West’s talks, “Created and Redeemed” he simplifies John Paul II’s teachings for us and says that wives are to allow their husbands to serve them. Most likely we are not going to literally die for our wives but we all need to give up things for their best interest. And I mean not just a compromise but to make sacrifices with no expectation of something in return. And this can be over money, not restraining your libido, or preferring the couch to helping out. Selfishness kills many marriages. We need to give up the selfish wants when we know she needs our attention or some alone time.
Additionally, our kids are looking up to us. Our sons are looking to us to be an example of that man he should be. Daughters are going to use us as a measuring stick for the man she will marry. Scary, I know. If we still want an opponent then lets join with our wives and go after the kids. Remember, “He who loves his son will whip him often, in order that he may rejoice at the way he turns out” (Sirach 30:1). Mom and Dad: one. Children: zero.
It has taken me a long time to get all this into my thick skull. Most days I forget but in trying to put my family before my wants, I have found much more satisfaction and joy. If I can help my wife and create a solid example for my kids, I will be a very happy man.